The Prediction - Ready, Steady, Flash!
Hello, hello, is this thing on, testing, testing.
Well welcome everyone to the new home of The Prediction; I'm so glad that you've made it safely. Do pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable. And please invite friends around, there's plenty of room; all are welcome as long as they play nicely.
Before I begin I have to say a huge thanks to Lily Childs, not only for hosting The Prediction for the past two years, but also for all the encouragement she has given me in the past year with my own writing. In the words of one of The Prediction regulars, bravo!
For the final winner(s) of Lily's Prediction do go and visit Lily's Feardom. My congratulations go out to everyone for such a fine collection of writing last week.
So, onto the new Prediction, what's changed, what happens next? Well, other than the decor and the host, not a lot. The same rules apply:
100 words maximum, excluding the title, of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words I will give you below.
I'm after tales from the dark to the fantastical, from the everyday to the farthest flung galaxies or dimensions; horror, fantasy and science fiction all have their place here. One thing I will say though is that violence to children is a no-no here otherwise write wherever the words take you.
Now I sit here with Lily's old tome in hand, magically transported overnight, and it's only now that I find I hadn't realised quite what it had been bound in, such a leathery feel to the cover........and the words, what type of ink is that they are written in...oh!
Your words this week dear Predictioneers are:
You have until 9pm (UK time) Thursday 24 May to get your entries in. The winner will be announced at 9am Friday 25 May and new words will then spill forth. If you can, please tweet about your entry using the #fridayflash hashtag and blog if you feel like it. Do give feedback to your fellow Predictioneers - everyone appreciates it!
I can't wait to see you flexing your literary mussels this week......
Well welcome everyone to the new home of The Prediction; I'm so glad that you've made it safely. Do pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable. And please invite friends around, there's plenty of room; all are welcome as long as they play nicely.
Before I begin I have to say a huge thanks to Lily Childs, not only for hosting The Prediction for the past two years, but also for all the encouragement she has given me in the past year with my own writing. In the words of one of The Prediction regulars, bravo!
For the final winner(s) of Lily's Prediction do go and visit Lily's Feardom. My congratulations go out to everyone for such a fine collection of writing last week.
So, onto the new Prediction, what's changed, what happens next? Well, other than the decor and the host, not a lot. The same rules apply:
100 words maximum, excluding the title, of flash fiction or poetry using all of the three words I will give you below.
I'm after tales from the dark to the fantastical, from the everyday to the farthest flung galaxies or dimensions; horror, fantasy and science fiction all have their place here. One thing I will say though is that violence to children is a no-no here otherwise write wherever the words take you.
Now I sit here with Lily's old tome in hand, magically transported overnight, and it's only now that I find I hadn't realised quite what it had been bound in, such a leathery feel to the cover........and the words, what type of ink is that they are written in...oh!
Your words this week dear Predictioneers are:
- Cockle
- Shake (all forms fine, eg shook, shaken, shaking)
- Lily
You have until 9pm (UK time) Thursday 24 May to get your entries in. The winner will be announced at 9am Friday 25 May and new words will then spill forth. If you can, please tweet about your entry using the #fridayflash hashtag and blog if you feel like it. Do give feedback to your fellow Predictioneers - everyone appreciates it!
I can't wait to see you flexing your literary mussels this week......
Good on you for taking the reigns, Phil. I'll be back later with something.
ReplyDeleteA hat tip for taking over from Lil, Phil. Hope you get into the swing of things nice 'n' smoothly, feller.
ReplyDeleteRegards,
Col
Oh well, looks like I'm first. Here goes...
ReplyDeleteUntitled
There she was, curled up into a sitting foetal position in the corner of the living room and shaking like a leaf. Her skin was lily white and on her forehead it was cockled like an old paper bag. She sat mumbling with her arms wrapped around her knees.
“Who called this in?”
“Neighbours. Said they’d heard screams.”
“Has she said anything?”
“Nothing. She just keeps mumbling something about “abatu” or “ababu”.
My breath caught.
“Sir?”
“Abatu. A mythical demon associated with the rites of sacrifice.”
“Sir, that would explain the mutilated body on the bed upstairs.”
~End~
It's phrases such as 'my breath caught' that make such a difference, which isn't to say dialogue alone is ineffective (certainly not in your hands) but this is a perfect example of how to add to dialogue.
DeleteKind words, Sandra. Thank you. I do love writing dialogue but you're so right about a few words here and there making a world of difference. It was probably unintentional, though, as I rattled this off in 5 minutes this morning. Pretty lucky! :-)
DeleteGreat opening scene... brings vivid images to mind and then...
DeleteSharp, gritty dialogue... perfectly balanced... and the delivery of that last line... slamming home the horrific reality of what's happened.
Well done, David!
like it, saying so much in such a short space, as always. You wrapped the words in beautifully.
DeleteI'm still lacking inspiration...
David, the description here is really chilling - we feel we're pulled into the sad world of adult social care until the demon rears its name and dashes us to the ground. Love it.
DeleteThank you for being the first to provide an offering David :-) And a great piece too. Love the opening paragraph and particularly 'cockled like an old paper bag'. Now left wanting to know who unleashed Abatu!
DeleteHello David, An intriguing tale. Are these police officers or a more specialized task force I wonder. Nice work.
DeleteYou guys are way too kind. Thank you!
DeleteAs usual, this piece is now screaming to be written up into a longer story. That's the great thing about this challenge.
Congrats on your first week, Phil. I'll be back to comment on the other stories before the end of the week.
Very amused by the final line, David. =) Oh, right, well, that explains that... ;)
DeleteI find myself thinking along the same lines as Shaun, some kind of paranormal task force?
Seems to me someone knows a bit too much about this murder. That officer might be a bit sticky. Great feel to this story
DeleteHello Phil,
ReplyDeleteGood to be here. I am going to try something new. A serial. I hope I don't fall flat on my face with this.
A Tale From Bile County
The woman in the black boned corset looked up as Uttoxetter Jones stepped through the door of the low down honky-tonk, a sardonic smile trembling on her ruby lips.
“Your too late handsome, much too late.” She said.
The silhouette bathed in dawns light shook his head, agitating uncountable reams of swirling dust motes.
“I tried Lily, I ain’t gonna waste time with excuses, but I tried.”
“If you ever wanna warm a single cockle in my heart again…”
The renegade biker moved toward Lily like a cobra striking, fell to his knees and touched his forehead to her knee.
~To be continued~
Very nice opening, Shaun... definitely piques one's curiosity for more.
DeleteI like that last image... the 'macho' man supplicating himself before the women... nicely done!
I agree with Veronica, good opening.
DeleteOne point... I am finding a lot of people lately/recently are putting full stops inside the" " marks and then carrying on. So, if you intend to carry on with 'he said' or whatever, it needs a comma. I am editing this out all the time, both at work and in my anthologies.
Question is, does anyone know why this peculiar practice has started????
I love the name 'Uttoxetter Jones' and the image of leather-clad biker creaking to his knees much appeals. I'm looking forward to hearing more ...
DeleteAn intriguing first episode Shaun. I agree 'Uttoxetter Jones' is a great, loaded name. I look forward to his next steps.
DeleteAh a serial to grace us all with and the opening to this looks like it has plenty of intrigue and a hint of noir to get us hooked. Like Sandra, love the name Uttoexetter Jones, has something steampunky to its nature. Look forward to seeing how this one plays out.
DeleteThank you for your comments. Glad you like Uttoxeter Jones. I intend to make him my prototype in depth character. Really dig deep and find out what makes him tick.
DeleteAntonia: I will be the first to admit that I have an open relationship with punctuation. I am grateful to you for pointing out the error.
Everyone's already said it, Shaun, but Uttoxeter Jones is too good a name not to run with. =)
DeleteGood luck with the serial. =)
Must concur with all before Uttoxeter Jones is a great name. I love the assertively submissive last line. The actions of her loyal subject, I fancy?
DeleteGreat job. I love the opening line. This is an intriguing relationship. Can't wait to read more.
DeleteThanks to Phil for taking over Lily's mantle, and to Brewer's 'Phrase and Fable' for some ideas on what to do with cockles.
ReplyDeleteThe blacksmith’s wife [part 13]
Slipping from his grasp I swam away then surfaced, shaking water from eyes which pleaded a repeat performance; speedily, satisfyingly supplied. As reward I promised to renounce all stripling lads, but no sooner spoke than from the trees emerged, moonlit, a veritable full-grown lusty man who’d been spying on us from the bank.
Much more than just my conscience pricked, but he surprised me, shouting ‘Gabriel, if that’s your wife, I vow you did not over-paint this lily – remember, Brother, share and share alike!’
Gabriel’s fury roared: ‘By Christ, I swear you’ll try cockles if you lay a hand on her!’
Damn! I'm accidentally one word over - please mentally deduct that 'Much' at the beginning of the second para.
DeleteWow! Not taking one iota away from the previous twelve, but this installment leaves me most breathless, Sandra...
Delete"... shaking water form eyes which pleaded for a repeat performance; speedily, satisfyingly supplied."
Brava, Sandra... Brava!
this is soooo good....
DeleteThat's it, one point deducted for flagrant abuse of the word limit! But wait, how can I do that when the tale is so wonderful. And now we meet the brother and a feisty to do looks certain to occur. Thank you for bringing The Blacksmith's Wife to these pages; both you and she are always welcome especially if she continues to carry controversy with her!
DeleteSuch jealousy, lust and madness endured through a fast moving landscape. Well done Sandra.
DeleteFeels like we've turned a corner here, Sandra. Great set-up for the next few parts, I feel. =)
DeleteSandra this is such a page turner, I'm loving it
DeleteMy cheeks are flushed. What a breathy slice of cake. Wonderful pace.
DeleteWonderment! Fabulous marvels! All will spill onto Phil's capable carpets for our delectation. Already Dave, Shaun and Sandra have spread their words on your canvas Phil, and I too have an idea sprouting that I'd love to share.
ReplyDeleteThank you again, not only for taking the Prediction on board, but also your lovely words above. And for picking a Lily as one of the 'new' words, I am as blushed as blushed can be.
BLOODY MARY
ReplyDeleteShe shook Lorenzo by the cockles, her entire arm wedged inside his breeches.
“Dirty.”
Behind them, a posy of lilies bled their creamy scent, violating noses; white waxy petals scattered with orange stamen dust.
“I’ll have your balls cast in silver,” uttered the diminutive Queen. She gnawed at row after row of her lover’s ribs. He moaned beneath her shrivelled lips.
“Mary! You’re so contrary. Only yesterday my head was on your block, and now your hand’s on my...”
“Never question a woman in power Lolo,” she said, her knife at the ready. Lorenzo spurted, fell.
Long feed the Queen.
Brava, Lily... rich 'scentsual' (yeah, not really a word, I know)imagery is evoked so beautifully in the opening line.
DeleteI've been photographing Spring's brilliant colors these last few weeks and my head is filled with the scent and sight of a variety of 'pretties', but none compare to what you've done here with a small manner of words.
Does my imagination catch the perfume of sexual ecstasy playing out here?
Long feed the Queen indeed! :)
great one, Lily. Some superb imagery here.
DeleteThere's a positive bombardment of imagery here and a hugely resonant tale to go with it.
DeleteThanks Veronica, Antonia and Sandra. I was watching a documentary about Mary Queen of Scots and thought it might be rather amusing to place her in an unlikely erotic situation, with a play on the nursery rhyme. And lilies - they are my very favourite - heady, intoxicating. Those and damask roses - ah, I'm drowning in wild fragrance.
DeleteI had to cross my legs as I read this Lily; no man likes to contemplate being shaken by the cockles! Incredibly vivid imagery as we have come to expect from you and then a trademark Lily Childs ending. Marvellous!
DeleteHello Lily, I agree with Phil wholeheartedly, that first line is bound to make about 50% of your audience wince.
DeleteThere is nothing quite like a mad old queen to make things interesting.
Really like the evident mix of inspirations in this, Lily. Told with a wink and a sly smile, and a nasty twist in the end. Nice one. =)
DeleteI winced
DeleteI love a lady on top story. As always you words are as pretty as the mood dark.
DeleteGuests, oh my, and such stories too!!! I will be back to comment later in the week, might even post a flash myself, but need to do family things now. Just wanted to be the dutiful host and top your glasses up. Thanks all for dropping by and the kind words :-)
ReplyDeleteHey Phil
ReplyDeleteOnly one way I could go with this weeks Predicition lets hope its not to corny.....
The Farewell
Water lapped around the old cockle stained boat as it sat in the gentle tow of the shore line. Lily shrugged off her melancholy like a heavy winter cloak as she took her place at the prow of the Prediction. She took the rough-hewed wooden oars in her hands and noticed that they were shaking. Finally, Lily looked up at the crowd that had gathered on the beach and smiled. As tide and oar pulled her slowly away she spoke a few words but the sound was carried away by the wind and the cry of gulls on the wing.
Imagery and mood are set beautifully here, Nick... brought back a little lump in my throat. I love that second line...
Delete"Lily shrugged off her melancholy like a heavy winter cloak..."
Poignant and evocative, Nick... nicely done, sir!
Nice one, Nick, this could lead into a great story.
DeleteVery apt and, as Antonia says, promises much.
DeleteNick - so you were there. And I thought I'd crept away so quietly, handkerchief dabbing at the corner of my eye as the Sussex coastal breeze teased my lashes. A lovely piece, not corny at all. (Thank you.)
DeleteA beautiful piece to provide for us Nick and love the simile of the heavy winter coat. You've got such a deft touch for the descriptive here which is what makes this such a strong piece of writing.
DeleteOh, nice, Nick. =)
DeleteI like it, I think it does what it sets out to do. =)
Poignant words Nick,lovely piece of writing.
DeleteWhat a beautiful sample. It is poignant and realistic.
DeleteHi Phil, I wish you good luck with this and thanks for taking on the prediction. I will be back with a little somethin Somethin before the week is out.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... love what you've done with the place, Phil... and I see you have a very well-stocked cellar (taking an appreciative sip from my goblet.)
ReplyDeleteOoohh... that is a delicious piece, Lily... I believe I have an 'answer' to your Queen. Hehe!
I'll be back in a bit with my little slice... a title alludes me for the moment.
Inspiration for this week's entry came from Sandra Byrd's THE SECRET KEEPER - I am reviewing this for Howard Books. While reading a passage concerning the queen's jewelry, the following words literally fell into my lap... well, the words didn't literally fall; the book did as I reached out for pen and paper. (deep breath...)
ReplyDeleteTO DIE FOR
By Veronica Marie Lewis-Shaw
~~**~~
Finely-crafted links of spun gold comprised the chain… blood onyx nestled in the hollow of her throat. As I watched, the glittering links began to shrink, drawing the chain tight around slender neck. Elizabeth began to shake, collapsing back onto her bed.
Smiling, though there was no warmth or humour present… I loosened my fist.
The chain slackened…
“‘Twas that shaman, Lily… wasn’t it… her bewitchery is behind this? Daughter, your treachery will not pass unpunished!”
Picking a cockle from the dish, I turned to her…
“The sweet is most welcome, your Majesty.”
Small curtsey.
Tightening my fist once more…
~finis~
good one, Veronica and yes, I know how those words sometimes fall out...
DeleteYes, when the words just flow, it's magic isn't it? I did like 'Smiling, though there was no warmth or humour present'.
DeleteVeronica, this absolutely is to die for. "blood onyx nestled in the hollow of her throat" is a deliciously inviting image and the shaman, Lily... well - what can I say? An ancestor of Magenta I have no doubt. Truly, this is beautiful - may I cast it in gilt and steal it away to decorate The Feardom's walls?
DeleteLove this, great opening, I could feel the chain tightening around her neck as the gold links bit into her flesh. Only one word for this Veronica; brava!
DeleteThank you so much Antonia, Sandra, Lily and Phil... your comments warm this 'wicked' little heart of mine! I do so love that 'magic' when the words flow as free and easy as the wine poured by a bacchant.
DeleteNot sure what's come over me... my last three tales have all been 'period' pieces... influenced in some small measure by some of the books I've recently read, I am thinking.
I think I rather like!
But, of course, Lily... I am honored that you would wish to. You pay me a very high compliment indeed. xx
It does appear, Lily, that Magenta's ancestors were involved in a little royal intrigue.
DeleteWith "Lily' in the word list, capitalised no less, it would have been almost sacrilege not stir a bit of mysticism into the tale.
:)
Great description in the opening line, interesting magic, and a good finish. I like it! =)
DeleteDelicious intrigue Veronica, words to die for.
DeleteOoooh this is intriguing. Epic and grand; leaves me wanting the rest of the story.
DeletePhil, thanks for inviting us over to your place. Hope we don't litter it up too much with our offerings... feels comfortable here already, so many familiar names already posting.
ReplyDeleteI will be back with something when the muse strikes. Right now I am in Aragon with the young apprehensive princess who does not want to leave the sunshine and go to England (can you blame her?) - we are exploring the 'being nothing but a commodity to be sold on to create a dynastic marriage' feeling which she went through.
They've not finished, down by the river ...
ReplyDeleteThe blacksmith’s wife [part 14]
‘Brother?’ (I had not been told) and while Gabriel belatedly tried to hide my nakedness by rearranging locks of hair and grabbing at an insufficiency of lily leaves I hid my interest, and the juddered rush of lust that shook the cockles of more than my heart, with haughtiness.
Neither man was fooled and the look that Gabriel turned upon me was such that had I been wearing boots I would have quaked in them with genuine terror, far more than hitherto.
The younger, better-looking man (his name?) took it as challenge, feigned helpfulness and went and fetched the horse.
I can feel the waters around them boiling over as Gabriel's rage is stoked and our immoral wife's lust grows ever hotter! More please!
DeleteOoh, your characters like to play their games... this may come to blows, brotherly love notwithstanding.
Deletean insufficiency of lily leaves Sandra? That line must be unique in the history of literature. I love it.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Delete"... an insufficiency of lily leaves..."
DeleteWow! Beautifully poetic and at the same time, lends a 'heat' to the undercurrent of Gabriel's lust barely contained.
Brilliant, Sandra!
Sandra - just read parts 13 and 14 together. Oh my, will she never learn? "juddered rush of lust that shook the cockles" is such an earthy flutter of this immediate infatuation.
ReplyDeleteI love how you've introduced yet another twist so seamlessly into the mix.
A Tale From Bile County
ReplyDeletepart 2
He watched the inky flower of his wife’s lifeblood blossom on the floor beneath her chair. Felt her shaking hand rest upon his grizzled head.
“They have Elizabeth, our precious child.”
Her last words impaled his already breaking heart.
Uttoxeter stared at the ugly hole in his wife’s belly, the result of a shotgun discharge at point blank range.
He looked up and saw the vitality fading from the eyes of the woman he loved above all else.
“Warm a single cockle my Lily, for you I will unleash the fires of hell on the men who did this.
~To be continued~
Oh Shaun, and now we know why he was too late. You've just taken this story up about five notches here. 'The inky flower of his wife's lifeblood...' is a great opening but is then surpassed by the closing sentence which is filled with such menace. Excellent.
DeleteCompletely unanticipated twist to this, and the final line bodes well for episode three.
DeleteThey say revenge is a dish best served cold, but I've always liked the 'wrathful, burning fiery' type, myself. ;)
DeleteLooking good. =)
Part 2 is superb, and takes the story to a new level. Good Job
DeleteAlmost unbearable grief turning to bright vengeance... yes, there are sometimes when revenge must be exacted in the fiery swell of rage... time enough for cold when evil is put asunder.
DeleteThis one took my breath away, Shaun!
A rushed entry from me (when are they not!!!) but how could I be a fitting host without providing something for my guests.
ReplyDeleteForever
The wind blew gently over the pair as they embraced on the pebbled beach. He held her in his arms, rocking back and forth, cradling her head into his shoulder.
He kissed away the tears running from his cheeks to her lily white neck, their salty tang evoking beautiful memories of walking along the pier, enjoying a paupers' feast of cockles and mussels; lovers forever, that was their pledge that day.
And then she'd died and it had shaken his world. So he'd carried her here for a final farewell, waiting for the waves to drag them both into eternity.
Mournful, Phil, dripping sweet melancholy.
DeleteThat was a shock ad no mistake Phil. That ending was like a punch in the gut. Brimming with tears here.
DeleteThat ending took my breath away,a wonder love story with a tragic end.
DeleteBittersweet memories... this is beautifully melancholic with a haunting poignancy that brought tears upon my own cheek.
DeleteThis touched my heart, Phil... deeply.
Oh, so sad, and the pebbly beach so painful. This is a tale in an oval frame.
ReplyDeleteThe best cure for insomnia is writing (in your head) an entry for the Prediction, so here goes...
ReplyDeleteThe Prodigal Son
Home. Looks like it always did, that scruffy bed of lily-of-the-valley and –
’You’re back!’
‘Yes, Ma.’
‘You look the same!’
You don’t. You’re shaking. You’re old. I’ve changed. You can’t see it – yet.
‘Is Dad…’
‘He’s all right, can’t walk these days, though. Come in, come in!’
Looks the like it always did, not done a thing since I left.
‘Welcome back, son!’
‘Thanks, Dad.’
Nothing’s changed, except they got old. How damned old, too.
‘I got your favourite tea, look, cockles!’
I vowed if she served cockles I’d kill her. I loathe them.
Good job I have my knife.
Perhaps I'm feeling overly sensitive, but as a (getting there but not yet, damned old) parent this really hurts. Well done.
DeleteWow... some serious issues he hasn't got over, so quick to anger...
Delete‘Yes, Ma.’ Ah this put me in mind of good old Nick Cotton. I love a good baddie Antonia. This one fits the bill. Great work.
DeleteOne word, issues! Hard hitting and particularly so because of the oblivious love of the parents to their wayward son. Oh us parents, we can turn a blind eye to most things but I think here they won't even live to regret it.
DeleteHad me sucked into the happy reunion then BAM! With a killer last line. Literally
DeleteBrilliant dialogue... little 'slaps' of emotion... very well done.
DeleteThat last line... knocked the breath out of me... the boy really doesn't like cockles!
Brava, Antonia... brava!
OK, now for more comments...
ReplyDeleteSandra, it just gets better!
Shaun, Uttoxeter is one fascinating character and this story is developing well.
Oh yes, Phil, so much heartbreak here so beautifully described.
Good morning,
ReplyDeleteWow...neat place you got here. Thanks for having us over. I will be back to post comments later. Here is my attempt:
Beneath blue skies, in a port town, one family mourns their sweet girl. Family float lost since placing her beneath lilies and gladiolus, near a looming tree. Still, a shaken father must have purpose, so he digs. Nightly, he pushes past layers of cockle shells and cool sea stones. The earth offers her secrets. He gathers dolphin bone, whale bone and teeth from ancient beasts. "These’ll do," he determines darkly. He labors to hold her once more, his little girl who loved the sea. "Please bring my mermaid child back to me," he whispers softly into his bag of bones.
Wrought with sadness, a very atmospheric little piece. =)
DeleteDefinitely shades of blue to this, not only the sky. I like the 'bag of bones'
DeleteMarietta, I was struck by the dark beauty of this and disturbed on some level by the subtle madness of the grieving father.
DeleteThe word that springs to mind here is poignant. Eloquantly told with a last line that is equally full of grief and hope. I imagine this must have been emotional to write.
DeleteA piece that echoes with loss and tragic beauty a well crafted and emotional piece
DeleteSuch melancholy... it is almost palpable... very moving piece, Marietta.
DeleteYou'd best be firm with that old book, Phil. I think it's acting out, throwing cockles at us for your first prediction. Tricky word, that. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'll be back for more comments later, but for now...
Lily
They say the pier is haunted.
Years ago, me and Lily used fool around under there. There was a spot up the top, where it was always damp, always dark. Just under the seafood guy. Some family would be right above us, eating their cockles and muscles and shrimps, and Lily would be shaking beneath me and I’d be kissing her hard to keep her from crying out.
But in the damp and the dark, we woke something, something old and lascivious. I made it out, but Lily...
They say the pier is haunted; it’s Lily’s moans they hear.
D'oh! 'Mussels', of course. ¬_¬
Delete*bad Xero*
Didn't like to say about the mussels John ;-)
DeleteLove the little layers that you build in this story John, little descriptors that just add texture until the last two paragraphs. And then you say so much in so little. Haunting!
I just got back from a walk along the seafront, I'll never look at the pier in the same way again. That's got under my skin
DeleteThis is great John. What did they wake up under the pier.
DeleteNever thought about before, but now I come to think of it those are pretty creepy places.
This is dark and dreadful... and a bit delicious as well!
DeleteI love the 'creature'... 'old and lascivious'... clever!
Nicely done, John!
A tale to tell your teenagers ... but as someone ever-fascinated by piers and ther dark spaces, I like this very much indeed, John.
ReplyDeleteNice place you've got here Phil
ReplyDeleteThe Mighty Have Fallen
They started turning up all over our estate about a month ago; we thought they were cockles at first. Those that tried eating them shook in agony, as their mistaken delicacies devoured them from the inside out, leaving nought but soft soapy bones.
Nothing stopped them, even the government failed. Where they came from, no one knew. Tower block Lily knew though. Every night she cackled on the rooftop, her sightless eyes wide and milky grey, looking to the sky as she guided wave after wave of the conquerors to earth, as they fell silently from the sky like snow.
Wow, I like this, shades of horror, urban fantasy and science fiction, with some wonderful writing.
Delete"leaving nought but soft soapy bones" is a fantastic, if disturbing, image.
The matter of fact opening 'normalises' and then, as John noted, 'those soft soapy bones'and the 'wide milky grey' coats the whole with horror. Superb writing.
DeleteThis is clever and dark William. Wish I had thought of it. :-)
DeleteLike the idea of Tower Block Lily - sounds like a character you could build a larger story around with those wonderfully described eyes. Agree with John - a wonderful mix of horror, urban fantasy and sci-fi.
Delete"... her sightless eyes wide and milky grey, looking to the sky as she guided wave after wave of the conquerors to earth..."
DeleteThis line creates such a vivid image... I can almost see the old woman up in the battlements... the sound of her vengeful glee echoing across the landscape...
Chilling and macabre...
And so I bring the party to an end for the first week at Phlambler's Prediction. You've been wonderful guests and I've had a great time plus no spilt wine on the carpets which is always a bonus! Do feel free to add comments to any of the entries but for now I am going to don my judging cap. Results will be posted at 9am (UK time) tomorrow morning when new words will also spring forth! Adieu mon amis.
ReplyDeleteI was too late, having not been well for a couple of days, maybe next week I'll be here. ^_^
ReplyDeleteHope that you're on the mend Helen. Will be great to have one of your entries grace these pages.
Delete